Listening to Complaints
High on every manager's "I-wish-I-didn't-have-to-deal-with-this" list are complaints from the staff. These can be about anything: routine assignments, the air conditioning, performance reviews, food in the cafeteria, disappearing desk chairs, bonuses, hiring freezes, insensitive supervision, vacation scheduling, parking.
Before you reach for Harry's wand to make them all go away, consider this bit of wisdom from a Harvard Business Review article:
"People complain only about the things they care about, and they complain the loudest about the things they care about the most."
If that's true, complaints can be important "leading indicators." Just as geologists can learn a lot from a few rock outcroppings, smart managers can assay the complaints they hear to discover a deeper vein of fear or discontent.
Complaints fall into three general categories:
·Whines and whimpers. These are the shallow half-complaints that annoy more than antagonize. They tend to be diffused and unfocused - the verbal equivalent of a bad-hair day. The usual responses are "Deal with it" or "Get to the point and tell me what you want."
·Bellicose bitching. These are industrial-strength complaints that leave no doubt about the complainer's passion or purpose. Someone is feeling aggrieved and wants everyone to know it. His short-term strategy includes revenge or revolution. Whatever the problem, he wants you to fix it. Now!
·Loyal opposition. These appear rational, but are the most difficult to assess. The complainer feels loyal to you and the cause (I don't mean to complain ..."), but she is in opposition to something and feels justified in bringing up the issue. The loyal-opposition complainer is more certain, less passionate but no less determined to have you fix the problem as she perceives it.
Behind most complaints you'll find fear. Of what? The loss of status, perhaps. Or being ignored,or exposed as less-than-competent. The difficulty is that people usually try to hide their fear, so managers need to learn how to uncover it. Here are two common examples of overt complaints that mask underlying fears:
1."This team doesn't function well." Hearing that, a manager might begin to review the team's performance to determine if the indictment is true. But performance may not be the issue at all. It's quite common for team members to mourn the loss of personal identity and recognition in a team setting. Complaints about the team's performance may actually be about the loss of individual control.
2."The bosses only give lip-service to teams." This sounds like an authority and resource issue. It probably isn't. As small groups become successful at bonding and team building, they often value camaraderie over results. When managers begin to question the team's performance, the inquiry itself may threaten a team's status or social order. To defend their group, members often launch a"You're-either-with-us-or-against-us" attack, in this case, on the leader's commitment to teams.
How can managers dig beneath complaints?
1.Be patient. Tell yourself that behind the noise of the whining, bitching or loyal opposing are more important messages.
2.Use humor. You don't have to take every complaint as an ultimatum. While taking every person seriously,you can use humor to tease out what's really at issue.
3.Distinguish between style and substance. Some complaints are about leadership styles, habits and idiosyncrasies. Treat these differently than complaints about values. Someone may be willing to negotiate concerns about wasteful meetings, but will be far more rigid about defending a value.
4.Encourage venting. You don't have to wait for complaints. I know one company where the senior executives open their weekly staff meetings with an agenda item called"venting." Each one of the half dozen junior managers has the right to vent without argument or opposition. It's always done in good humor, and it always uncovers something of substance.
5.Organize the criticism. In workshops I often use an exercise called"Start/Stop/Continue." It's easy to do. Distribute index cards and ask people to write down something they want the organization to"Start" doing. Then, on another card, ask them to write down what they want the organization to "Stop" doing. Finally, ask them to cite a practice they think should "Continue." All suggestions should be kept anonymous. Have a facilitator study the cards fora few minutes and report out the ideas and themes, beginning with the"Start" cards. You'll be surprised how this simple exercise can focus and explore seemingly random complaints.
Grumbling is part of every workplace, but grumbles and complaints can be valuable information if you take time to determine what's really behind them.
Trailheads:
"The Real Reason People Won't Change" by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lehey. Harvard Business Review,November 2001.
Before you reach for Harry's wand to make them all go away, consider this bit of wisdom from a Harvard Business Review article:
"People complain only about the things they care about, and they complain the loudest about the things they care about the most."
If that's true, complaints can be important "leading indicators." Just as geologists can learn a lot from a few rock outcroppings, smart managers can assay the complaints they hear to discover a deeper vein of fear or discontent.
Complaints fall into three general categories:
·Whines and whimpers. These are the shallow half-complaints that annoy more than antagonize. They tend to be diffused and unfocused - the verbal equivalent of a bad-hair day. The usual responses are "Deal with it" or "Get to the point and tell me what you want."
·Bellicose bitching. These are industrial-strength complaints that leave no doubt about the complainer's passion or purpose. Someone is feeling aggrieved and wants everyone to know it. His short-term strategy includes revenge or revolution. Whatever the problem, he wants you to fix it. Now!
·Loyal opposition. These appear rational, but are the most difficult to assess. The complainer feels loyal to you and the cause (I don't mean to complain ..."), but she is in opposition to something and feels justified in bringing up the issue. The loyal-opposition complainer is more certain, less passionate but no less determined to have you fix the problem as she perceives it.
Behind most complaints you'll find fear. Of what? The loss of status, perhaps. Or being ignored,or exposed as less-than-competent. The difficulty is that people usually try to hide their fear, so managers need to learn how to uncover it. Here are two common examples of overt complaints that mask underlying fears:
1."This team doesn't function well." Hearing that, a manager might begin to review the team's performance to determine if the indictment is true. But performance may not be the issue at all. It's quite common for team members to mourn the loss of personal identity and recognition in a team setting. Complaints about the team's performance may actually be about the loss of individual control.
2."The bosses only give lip-service to teams." This sounds like an authority and resource issue. It probably isn't. As small groups become successful at bonding and team building, they often value camaraderie over results. When managers begin to question the team's performance, the inquiry itself may threaten a team's status or social order. To defend their group, members often launch a"You're-either-with-us-or-against-us" attack, in this case, on the leader's commitment to teams.
How can managers dig beneath complaints?
1.Be patient. Tell yourself that behind the noise of the whining, bitching or loyal opposing are more important messages.
2.Use humor. You don't have to take every complaint as an ultimatum. While taking every person seriously,you can use humor to tease out what's really at issue.
3.Distinguish between style and substance. Some complaints are about leadership styles, habits and idiosyncrasies. Treat these differently than complaints about values. Someone may be willing to negotiate concerns about wasteful meetings, but will be far more rigid about defending a value.
4.Encourage venting. You don't have to wait for complaints. I know one company where the senior executives open their weekly staff meetings with an agenda item called"venting." Each one of the half dozen junior managers has the right to vent without argument or opposition. It's always done in good humor, and it always uncovers something of substance.
5.Organize the criticism. In workshops I often use an exercise called"Start/Stop/Continue." It's easy to do. Distribute index cards and ask people to write down something they want the organization to"Start" doing. Then, on another card, ask them to write down what they want the organization to "Stop" doing. Finally, ask them to cite a practice they think should "Continue." All suggestions should be kept anonymous. Have a facilitator study the cards fora few minutes and report out the ideas and themes, beginning with the"Start" cards. You'll be surprised how this simple exercise can focus and explore seemingly random complaints.
Grumbling is part of every workplace, but grumbles and complaints can be valuable information if you take time to determine what's really behind them.
Trailheads:
"The Real Reason People Won't Change" by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lehey. Harvard Business Review,November 2001.
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